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Tips after a Negative Expertise

Preliminary Remark

How do I behave if I already have received a negative expertise? Let me start with an annoying remark promising you that it will soon be dispatched. Such a case you want to avoid by taking the necessary steps in good time, thus reasonably preparing yourself. On this website, you will find sufficient information how to do that, for example on the pages "Ten Points Program to Regain Your Driver's License" or "Own Initiative". Thus it is up to you to minimize the probability of such a 'catastrophe'. Since a lot of visitors will probably consult this site only after the examination – and maybe you are one of those –, and since no one, me included, can of course guarantee a positive expertise, it is nevertheless important to succeed in making the best out of such a certainly distressing situation.

Luckily, next to the annoyance, it has given you right now in form of a MPU, the psychology has achieved important tasks and has shown ways how to get out of an emotionally disturbing situation. Let us perceive these ways and find out, to what extent they are useful to you.

By pointing out to you some possible steps, I ask you to feel free to change the sequence in accordance with your feelings. It is vital that you regain your power and inner peace and the necessary serenity to do the right things now. I will help you, here on this page, and of course if you call me and if we can personally meet for example in an informative consultation.

Ways out of the Dilemma

1. Staying Calm

Who would deny that a negative expertise may have a shocking effect and may trigger deep feelings of frustration, despair, anger, fear or sadness? For one had one not entered the MPU exploration with the expectation of having a real chance to convince the expert of the best own intentions; yes, in the prospect of regaining the driver's license, the one or other change has even been initiated.

If you have received a negative expertise, your first, most important step is to stay calm. Avoid feelings of panic and allow yourself a moment of time for yourself and your emotional state. If you are able to do so, stop fatalistic thoughts and do not give dangerous negative emotions any space. Whatever you want to do, you want to do it with a clear mind and heart.

2. Gaining Distance

Your next step may be to distance yourself from the text (or the experience in the examination). You can do this in space by putting aside the expertise and leaving the room. You can do it mentally by focusing your thoughts onto something positive, and you can do it emotionally by taking the feeling out of the matter and internally distancing yourself. You may bring everything to the bear that helps you to obtain distance, for not before you have mentally and emotionally overcome the first shock, will you be ready to slowly approach the expertise and its content without straining or hurting your soul. Thus, you regain an important moment of control, for you alone decide when it is time to allow the text to get closer to you.

3. No Rash Actions and no Taking to the Alcohol

Avoid doing something in the heat of the first moment which you later will regret. Stay with yourself as long as necessary and do not do anything, until you have regained your composure and know that you can count on yourself. Keep in mind that things which initially seem hopeless, often turn out quite different later on. If it helps you, give yourself simple positive messages like: "I will be up to this" or: "I will manage this as well" or: "From now on, I will do everything right."

Maybe, feelings of anger or defiance have arisen, and maybe you felt like getting plastered. Don't do this! You must not grudge the expert this triumph. Of course, as any human being - you are free to drink as much or as little alcohol as you like, but you will not allow the expert to decide the timing for you. If you feel cramped within your own four walls, and if you feel the desire to do something, I have a new proposal for you.

4. Talking to a Friend or Relative

Who of those who are near you can now comfort you? Go through the list of friends or family members and don't hesitate to call the appropriate one. Should you already expect a negative expertise after the expert's feedback, it is a good idea to have the chosen one next to you when you open the envelope. Ask him otherwise to see you and speak to him about the event, about what you have experienced, what you feel and what you should do. In this confidential conversation, feeling which you have suppressed up to now can reach you consciousness, and if you desire to let out your anger, then feel free to do so. You friend or relative is near you and can assist you.

5. Doing something you feel good about

If the first anger has expressed itself and if you have "let off steam" feeling better, you are ready to do even more for your mind and feelings. Go for a walk do some jogging – if you have sporting inclinations –, or just go to the sauna or cinema. It does not matter: to compensate for the disappointment you have experienced, treat yourself to something positive. A bar of chocolate will every doctor condone, for now, you need something which builds you up, which consolates you and gives you mental and emotional power.

6. Professional Help

You should a soon as possible – and why not right away? – seek professional help, i.e. contact a traffic psychologist. That he also is a psychologist does not have to bother you, for he is on your side, serving your interests. To further get things clear in your mind, you need valuable information, and you want to take the right path as soon as possible. So call me or a colleague and ask for an informative consultation. There, further details can calmly be talked over. The call will be good for you, for now you know that you have started to be active again, to sort out things.

7. Reading the Expertise

Maybe you want to read the expertise beforehand. That is ok, but let me give you a couple of tips. Don't read the expertise until you feel mentally strong enough and prepared to do so. Don't identify with every sentence, but try to grasp the main information. You may gladly keep in mind a couple of questions:

  1. a. What have I done well in the MPU and what has not worked?
  2. b. What does the expert want to tell me, and why did the expertise turn out negative?
  3. c. Does the expertise contain final recommendations which can help me?

Should you feel anger or hatred while reading the expertise, put it aside instantly. You always have the option to go through the text with a traffic psychologist, allowing him to give you background information not attainable for the layman. For scanning the text passage which are often phrased schematically and do not have to correspond optimally with your situation, the specialist can gather significant subtleties. He also can tell you with greater certainty, where you have done a good job and what finally has been decisive for the negative overall assessment.

8. Information

If you finally have dated to tackle the expertise, you will have a series of questions, and thus it may be helpful to get ample information. I think this website alone can provide you with plenty of answers. Of course, you can also comb through diverse internet forums to quench your thirst of information in a different way. Keep however in mind that not all of these sources can equally be trusted. You certainly have a more promising way to get to the facts relevant in your case. The recommended conversation with a traffic psychologist in a detailed first informative meeting (Informative Consultation) will quickly provide you with a clear and reliable picture of your situation and will be able to show you the necessary steps towards a successful MPU.

9. Acceptance, Reconciliation and Fresh Start

The probably most important emotional challenge lies yet in front of you, and while approaching it why do you not let yourself be guided professionally? Accept the expertise, face up to the failure, reconcile with the past and be ready for a fresh start.

What is written down so easily is in reality a complex mental and emotional process. It does not have to run straight, but may jumble up your thinking and feeling pretty well. Many clients have told me that in the process of tackling the past (of the expertise) they have felt quite good and confident at times, only to relapse into moments of pain, disappointment and grief at other moments. Don't let yourself be discouraged by this emotional up and down. Accept these sad feelings as well, for the time has come to lift these experiences into your consciousness and solve them there. Now as well, you may bring to bear that proven technique I have already introduced to you above. In the moments of sorrow, reward yourself with something that will do you good. If you wish so, write a diary and confide your thoughts and feelings to it. Reconcile with that has been, then you are ready for the next step.

We all know that the past cannot be changed, but we all have experienced that we can emerge from it with varying degrees of strength and maturity. Negative events, as painful as they may be, always contain the source of change as well. It is part of our biological nature as human beings to learn from mistakes, and we all have successfully applied this ability at different times. You as well can pick up your destiny and change it for the good.

If your soul has parted from the straining past in this way, if you have reconciled with the incident itself and the negative expertise being ready to look ahead, the desire for a fresh start will emerge inside of you. You will feel this moment and also the power it contains. Hold onto that moment and formulate out of it your goal. Imagine how beautiful it will be to get a positive expertise and be able to drive again. And then, decide to go. Go with the knowledge that nothing can hold you back anymore.

10. Trust in Yourself

The traffic psychological counseling would like to accompany you on that way towards your future. A lot of what you will learn there will give you additional security. One of the most beautiful presents which nature has bestowed on the human soul is self-confidence: the belief in yourself, in your own abilities and own strength. It belongs to the most delightful moments of a traffic-psychological counseling to see how clients who do their personal work and honestly follow the path of rehabilitation, gain new courage and confidence. On every day of this path, in every session holding onto that mutual goal, the soul of the client advances, and this transformation will be effective in the MPU more than anything else. Human beings who know and feel that they do the right thing, have this illuminating effect on others: they document in their body language, their facial expression, gesture and appearance the achieved changes.

Do not let yourself be lead astray from your path! Take the strength and the confidence a traffic-psychological counseling can give you, and regain with the driver's license your deserved right to mobility. For who does what he legitimately could be asked for, does not have to be afraid. He will convince the expert because he is convinced of himself. He will profit as a human being, he will drive, and he will permanently keep his license. And is it daring to suppose that the negative expertise as well has been an important step on this way, a chance to clean up a little bit in the own life?

© 2017   Dr. M. Junker

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